40 monthiversary ideas, plus what to do at 1 and 6 months

A monthiversary is the monthly anniversary of the day you got together, and marking one can take as little as a two-minute text. Below are 40 monthiversary ideas grouped by effort, from two minutes to a bigger month. After them comes a guide to what to do at one, three and six months, and at a year.

What is a monthiversary, and is it a thing?

A monthiversary is the date each month that matches the day your relationship started. If you got together on March 14, every 14th is a monthiversary. The word “anniversary” comes from the Latin for “year,” so a monthly one is technically made up. That’s fine. Couples invent words for each other all the time.

It’s a thing for plenty of couples, especially in the first year, when every month feels like news. Many stop counting around the one-year mark and switch to anniversaries. Others keep a tiny monthly ritual going for years. Both are normal, and nobody needs to feel silly about either.

If one of you cares about monthiversaries and the other doesn’t, meet in the middle. A two-minute gesture is easy to give and nice to get. The Gottman Institute’s piece on small things often makes a related point, that small, repeated rituals of connection build closeness more than grand gestures. So most of the ideas below are small, and the bigger ones are for the months that feel like milestones.

Two-minute monthiversary ideas

These are for the months when you want to mark the day without making a production of it. For more gestures this size, see our list of little things to do for your partner.

1. Send a text with one detail. Name something specific from the month, like “Happy four months. Still laughing about the cereal aisle.”
2. Send your first photo together. Dig it out of your camera roll and send it with just the date.
3. Leave a sticky note. Put it on a mirror or a laptop lid, or tuck it into a coat pocket.
4. Send a song from this month. Pick one that was playing during a moment you shared, and say which moment.
5. Bring their usual coffee order. Get the details right, down to the milk.
6. Record a 30-second voice memo. Say one thing you liked about this month and one thing you’re looking forward to.
7. Doodle the number. Draw a heart with the month count inside on a napkin or the corner of their notebook.
8. Take a monthly selfie in the same spot. Same pose every month. By month 12 you have a little flipbook.
9. Screenshot your first messages. Send the first few texts you ever sent each other and enjoy the cringe together.
10. Say a specific thank-you. Thank them for one thing they did this month, out loud or in writing.
11. Pick up their favorite snack. The exact brand they like, grabbed on the way over.
12. Set a recurring reminder together. Put the date in both your calendars so neither of you has to remember it alone.
13. Change your lock screen. Put a photo of the two of you on it for the day and see how long it takes them to notice.
14. Share the month’s best photo. Pick the one picture from the last month that sums it up and send it with a line about why.

Happy monthiversary messages to borrow

If you’re marking the day with a text, these are easy to adapt. Swap in your own details.

• “Happy one month. Best month of my year so far.”
• “Three months today. My favorite part was the rainy walk, and I’d do it again tomorrow.”
• “Happy monthiversary. You’re still my favorite notification.”
• “Six months, and I still get excited when your name pops up.”
• “Half a year with you. Here’s to the next half.”

Monthiversary ideas for an evening

An evening is plenty for most months.

15. Recreate your first date, small version. Same food or the same kind of place, even if it’s takeout on the floor.
16. Cook something from the month. Try a dish from a restaurant you went to together, or the recipe you keep saying you’ll make.
17. Go back to where you met. Order what you had and tell each other the story again.
18. Have a month-in-review dinner. Each of you brings your favorite moment of the month and one plan for the next.
19. Show each other a favorite movie. Take turns each month picking one the other has never seen.
20. Find a photo booth. Squeeze in for a strip and keep one each. Add a new strip every few months and line them up.
21. Write each other short notes. Five sentences each, read aloud over dessert. If you get stuck, our love notes for your partner have plenty of starting points.
22. Ask each other new questions. Pick five you’ve never asked, like “What did you want to be when you were ten?”, and take turns answering.
23. Try a new restaurant. Keep a shared wish list and work through it one monthiversary at a time.
24. Take a sunset walk. Time it so you’re somewhere with a view when the sun goes down.
25. Bake a tiny cake. Write the month count on top in frosting, however wobbly it comes out.
26. Play the game you played early on. The card game or video game from your first weeks together, with the same trash talk.
27. Take a “remember when” walk. Walk past the places that matter to your story so far and share one memory at each.
28. Take a one-night class. Book a pottery, dance or cooking class for the date.

Try it today: Write down three small moments from this month in your phone’s notes while you still remember them. On your next monthiversary, send your partner your favorite.

Ideas for a bigger month

These are for the milestone months, or any month you want to go further.

29. Plan a day trip. Pick a town an hour or two away and spend the day exploring it.
30. Make a mini photo book. One page per month so far, with a caption under each photo.
31. Write a letter for every month. At six months, write six short letters, one about each month, and hand them over in order.
32. Plan a surprise date. Tell them only what to wear and when to be ready.
33. Go away for a weekend. Pick somewhere you’ve both wanted to see, even if it’s a friend’s spare room in another town.
34. Make a playlist with one song per month. Add a line for each about why it fits that month.
35. Start a memory jar. Each month, both of you write one memory on a slip of paper and add it. Open it together at a year.
36. Book the thing you keep talking about. The concert, the restaurant or the hike with the view.
37. Learn something together over the month. Pick a skill, like a few phrases in a new language or one new recipe a week, and show it off on the next monthiversary.
38. Set up a scavenger hunt of your places. Leave clues that lead to spots from your relationship so far, ending at dinner.
39. Cook one course per month. At four months, make four small courses, each tied to something from that month.
40. Make a one-minute video. Cut together a short clip from each month and set it to your song.

Try it today: Take a photo of something that reminds you of your first date, like the drink you ordered or the street where it happened, and share it with your partner. If you both use Pairloom, write on the back how many months it’s been.

What to do for a 1-month, 3-month, 6-month and 1-year anniversary

What to do for a 1-month anniversary

Keep it light. One month in, a big gift can feel like a lot for both of you. A text with a favorite moment, their coffee order or a small evening date is plenty. If you’re not sure your partner counts months, a cheerful “one month today” will tell you quickly.

3-month anniversary ideas

Three months is often when routines and inside jokes start to show up. That makes it a good time for an evening idea that looks back, like a month-in-review dinner or a photo booth strip. Keep the bigger plans for later.

What to do for a 6-month anniversary

Half a year is when many couples do something a little bigger, like a day trip, dinner somewhere new or six short letters, one for each month. If you’d like to give a gift, a framed photo from your first weeks or a playlist with one song per month fits well. It’s also a good moment for a gentle check-in about what you’re enjoying and what you’d like more of. Our list of relationship check-in questions has easy ones to start with.

The 1-year anniversary

At a year, the monthiversary turns into an anniversary. If you kept a memory jar or took a monthly selfie, this is the day to open the jar and line up the photos. For bigger plans, see our anniversary ideas.

Sources

• The Gottman Institute on small things done often