100 this or that questions for couples (plus how to play)

This or that questions for couples are quick choices between two things, like “Coffee or tea?” You answer fast, laugh at the surprises, and learn small things about each other that rarely come up otherwise. Below are 100 this or that questions in seven groups, from food to silly would you rather questions, plus a few ways to turn them into a game.

How to play

The basic version is easy. One of you reads a question, you both answer as fast as you can, and you move on. No explaining, unless an answer is too strange to let go.

A few ways to make it a game:

• Guess first. Before your partner answers, guess what they’ll pick. Score a point for every correct guess, then switch.
• Lightning round. Set a timer for one minute and see how many questions you can get through. Ten is good. Fifteen is impressive.
• Match game. Both write down your answers to the same ten questions, then reveal them together and count the matches.
• Why round. After a fast round, each of you picks one of the other’s answers and asks “why?”
• Loser plans the date. Whoever scores fewer points in guess first picks the next date night. These cute date ideas help if you lose.
• Long-distance version. Play over a call or by text. It makes an easy warm-up for any of these long-distance date ideas.

Try it today: Play a guess-first round with the food section at dinner tonight. Whoever guesses more of the other’s answers picks dessert.

Food and drink

1. Coffee or tea? And how do you take it?
2. Sweet or salty? Movie snacks will settle this one.
3. Pizza or tacos? Name your toppings.
4. Pancakes or waffles? Syrup policy also matters.
5. Cook at home or order in? Then share your go-to order.
6. Chocolate or vanilla? Ice cream flavor is the tiebreaker.
7. Spicy or mild? Rate your limit from one to ten.
8. Fries or onion rings? Dipping sauce counts as a follow-up.
9. Breakfast for dinner or leftovers for breakfast? Cold pizza at 8 a.m. counts.
10. Cake or pie? Birthday rules don’t apply.
11. Sushi or pasta? Pick a favorite place for it.
12. Ketchup or mustard? Or are you a mayo person?
13. Popcorn or nachos at the movies? Butter or no butter.
14. Fancy restaurant or food truck? Describe your perfect one.
15. Hot chocolate or iced coffee? Even in winter?

Travel

16. Beach or mountains? Name the exact spot.
17. City break or countryside? Museums or long walks.
18. Window or aisle seat? This one reveals a lot.
19. Road trip or plane? Who picks the music?
20. Plan every day or make it up as you go? Spreadsheets are allowed.
21. Hotel or a rented cabin? Room service or a fireplace.
22. Pack light or pack everything? Count the shoes.
23. Sunrise hike or sunset dinner? Early alarms decide this.
24. Museums or markets? Both count as walking.
25. Somewhere hot or somewhere snowy? Swimsuit or ski jacket.
26. Camping or room service? Some answers come very fast.
27. The same favorite place every year or somewhere new every time? Name the favorite.
28. Souvenirs or photos? What’s on your fridge now?
29. At the airport early or just in time? This one causes real arguments.

Home life

30. Morning person or night owl? When do you do your best thinking?
31. Shower in the morning or at night? Wet hair on the pillow is part of the debate.
32. Clean as you go or one big tidy? Sunday reset people, speak up.
33. Window open or closed at night? And what about the fan?
34. Cats or dogs? A capybara is allowed as a write-in.
35. Real plants or fake plants? Count how many real ones survived.
36. Background noise or silence? TV on while cooking, or no?
37. Bath or shower? Bubble bath supplies optional.
38. Make the bed every morning or never? Some people are very firm on this.
39. Movies on the couch or in bed? Snacks travel either way.
40. Bright lights or lamps only? Overhead lights are divisive.
41. Dishes right away or in the morning? No judgment. Some judgment.
42. Hoodie or blanket? Or both at once.
43. Socks in bed or bare feet? A surprising number of people feel strongly.

Dates

44. Dinner out or dinner in? Who cooks if it’s in?
45. Movie theater or movie at home? Pick the movie too.
46. Bowling or mini golf? Who would win?
47. Picnic or rooftop? Bring a blanket either way.
48. Plan the date or be surprised? Some people hate surprises.
49. Concert or comedy show? Name someone you’d go see.
50. Arcade or escape room? Competitive or cooperative.
51. Coffee date or dessert date? Both work on a weeknight.
52. Board games or video games? Which one gets you more competitive?
53. Hike or stroll through town? Sneakers or nice shoes.
54. Dress up or stay comfy? Sweatpants are an answer.
55. Double date or just the two of us? Name the other couple.
56. Karaoke or dancing? What’s your song?
57. Cooking class or pottery class? One leaves you fed, the other leaves you with a lumpy bowl.
58. Stargazing or a late movie? Bring snacks to both.

Romance

59. Love letter or love song? Would you write either one?
60. Flowers or chocolate? Or something else entirely?
61. Holding hands or an arm around the shoulder? For walking, specifically.
62. Cuddling on the couch or slow dancing in the kitchen? Pick the song for the second one.
63. Surprise gifts or gifts you asked for? Practical people, this is your moment.
64. Big public gesture or quiet private moment? Your partner should remember this answer.
65. Good-morning kiss or goodnight kiss? Coffee breath is a factor.
66. Pet names or real names? Share your favorite nickname.
67. Handwritten note or sweet text? Keep the answer in mind for later.
68. Matching outfits: adorable or too much? Matching pajamas count.
69. Big anniversary celebration or low-key night? What would the perfect one look like?
70. Rainy day in or sunny day out? Plan one of each.
71. Breakfast in bed or dinner by candlelight? Crumbs versus wax.
72. Kiss in the rain or kiss at midnight on New Year’s Eve? Has either one happened yet?

Silly

73. Pirates or ninjas? Defend your answer.
74. Dinosaurs or dragons? Pick your favorite species.
75. Aliens or ghosts? Which are you more likely to believe in?
76. Toilet paper over or under? This has ended friendships.
77. Crunchy or smooth peanut butter? Or no peanut butter at all?
78. Pineapple on pizza: yes or no? Make your case in one sentence.
79. Cereal first or milk first? Milk-first people, explain yourselves.
80. Socks with sandals: crime or comfort? No take-backs.
81. Talk to your plants or name your car? Both is a valid answer.
82. Mermaid or centaur? Think about stairs.
83. Is a hot dog a sandwich: yes or no? The debate can run all night.
84. Sing in the shower or dance in the kitchen? Demonstrate.
85. Hard G or soft G in “GIF”? Say it out loud.

Would you rather questions for couples

These are bigger, sillier choices. They’re great for road trips, and you can find more in these questions to ask your partner.

86. Would you rather fly or be invisible? Then ask what they’d do first.
87. Would you rather read minds or see the future? Would you read mine?
88. Would you rather always be ten minutes late or twenty minutes early? One of you probably already is.
89. Would you rather have a rewind button or a pause button for life? Ask when they’d use it.
90. Would you rather never sleep or never eat? Think about breakfast before you answer.
91. Would you rather live on a boat or in a treehouse? Who gets seasick?
92. Would you rather be a famous chef or a famous musician? Name your signature dish or your first hit.
93. Would you rather only whisper or only shout for a day? Picture a work meeting.
94. Would you rather teleport anywhere or time travel once? Where or when?
95. Would you rather have a personal chef or a personal driver? Think about Mondays.
96. Would you rather lose your phone for a week or your bed for a week? Both hurt.
97. Would you rather live in a rom-com or a horror movie? Name the exact movie.
98. Would you rather swap lives with me for a day or with a celebrity? If it’s me, what would you do first?
99. Would you rather always have a perfect playlist or perfect hair? Wind and all.
100. Would you rather relive your favorite day with me or see one day of our future? This one can get sweet.

Try it today: Pick one answer from today and turn it into a photo. Snap your coffee if you said coffee, or your side of the couch if you said movies at home, and send it with the question as the caption. On Pairloom, make it today’s photo and write your partner’s answer on the back.