Long-distance date ideas: 40 dates to try while you’re apart

The best long-distance date ideas give a video call a plan: cook the same recipe, start the same movie, play a game, or mail something and open it together on camera. A plan turns “so, what’s new?” into an evening you both look forward to. Below are 40 virtual and by-mail date ideas, grouped by what you need, including a set for when your time zones barely overlap.

Make it feel like a date

Novelty is worth a little effort. In a study by Aron and colleagues (2000), couples who did new, exciting activities together reported less boredom and higher relationship quality. A date you’ve never tried before counts as new, even if it happens on a laptop.

A few small things help any of these feel like an occasion. Set a day and time instead of “later.” Prop the phone up so you can use both hands. Change out of what you wore all day, and close the other tabs.

Things to do on FaceTime with your partner

1. Get ready together. Do your hair, pick an outfit and put on music like you’re heading out, then “arrive” on camera at the same time. Dressing up for a call feels silly for about a minute.
2. Take a walking tour. Call from your phone and show them your neighborhood, like the bakery you love and the bench where you eat lunch. Next time, they give you the tour of theirs.
3. Have a question night. Take turns answering questions that get a little more personal as you go. Our list of questions to ask your partner is a good place to start.
4. Watch the sky together. Your sunset might be their sunrise, and you can both point the camera at it. On a clear night, step outside together and look for the moon.
5. Work out side by side. Follow the same workout or stretching video with the laptop propped on a chair. Laughing at each other’s form is part of the fun.
6. Plan a trip you might take. Open a map, pick a place neither of you has been and plan a perfect day there, from breakfast to the spot where you’d watch the sunset. It works for real trips and for daydreams.
7. Tour a museum from the couch. Lots of museums put virtual tours and collections online. Share your screen, wander through one and each pick a favorite piece to explain.
8. Teach each other something in 15 minutes. A card trick, a few words in another language, how to fold a paper crane, a song on the guitar. The teacher has to stay patient, which is half the entertainment.
9. Show and tell. Each bring one object with a story behind it, like an old souvenir or something you’ve kept since you were a kid. You’ll hear stories that never come up in a normal catch-up.

Try it today: Text your partner a day, a time and a plan for your next call, like “Thursday, 8 your time, we’re making pancakes.” Once it’s on the calendar, it starts to feel like a date.

Watch or play together

10. Movie night, in sync. Count down and press play at the same moment, or use a watch-together feature if your streaming service has one. Keep the call going so you can react out loud.
11. A show that’s only yours. Pick a series neither of you has seen and only watch it together. Watching ahead alone is against the rules.
12. Bad movie night. Find the worst-reviewed film you can and rate each other’s commentary. The worse the film, the better the night tends to go.
13. An online board game. Chess, checkers and lots of card and word games have browser versions you can play together. Keep the video on so you can see each other’s faces after a terrible move.
14. A quiz about you. Each write ten questions about your own life (“What was my first job?”) and quiz each other. The loser picks the next date.
15. A two-player video game. Co-op games where you have to talk to each other to get anywhere work best. Pick something you can both play on what you already have.
16. An album listening party. Pick an album one of you loves and the other has never heard. Listen start to finish, then each name a favorite track.
17. This or that, lightning round. Fire off quick choices: beach or mountains, call or text, pancakes or waffles, cats or dogs. There are plenty more in our list of this or that questions for couples.
18. Draw what I describe. One of you describes a picture without saying what it is, and the other draws it on camera. Reveal the original at the end.

Cook or eat together

19. Cook the same recipe. Choose a dish, shop for the same ingredients and cook side by side on video. Eat together at the end with both plates in frame.
20. A bake-off. Same recipe, two kitchens. Hold your results up to the camera and judge each other honestly, or kindly.
21. A snack taste test. Each get the same handful of snacks and rate them out of ten. If you live in different countries, mail each other some local favorites first.
22. A family recipe lesson. Teach the dish your grandmother made or the one a friend showed you years ago. Walk your partner through it step by step while they cook along.
23. Your first meal, again. Cook what you ate on your first date or first visit, and trade memories of that night while you eat.
24. An indoor picnic. Spread a blanket on the floor, make picnic food and eat down there together on camera. A basket earns bonus points.
25. A coffee or tea tasting. Each make two kinds and compare notes like serious judges. Silly accents are allowed.

Creative dates

26. Build a playlist together. Take turns adding songs that remind you of each other, and say why as you add each one.
27. Draw each other. Set a ten-minute timer and sketch your partner from the video. Hold your drawings up at the same moment.
28. Write a story, a line each. Start with one sentence and trade back and forth. It goes off the rails fast, which is most of the fun.
29. Go on a photo walk. Pick a theme, like “something red” or “a door you’d want,” and each take ten photos where you are. Then share them on a call and choose a winner for each round.
30. Make a mood board for someday. Gather pictures for a trip you want to take or a weekend you’d love to have together. It gives you something to look forward to.
31. Make a scrapbook of the two of you. Collect photos, ticket stubs, old messages and screenshots of inside jokes, and each build a page. Swap pages at the end.

Long-distance dates by mail

32. Open-when letters. Write a stack of envelopes for specific moments: open when you can’t sleep, when you miss me, after a bad day, on your birthday. If you need lines to borrow, start with these love notes for your partner.
33. A date in a box. Mail a small kit with a snack, a candle, a tea bag and a card with the plan, then open it together on a call.
34. A book with notes in the margins. Read a book you love, underline your favorite parts, write comments and mail it. They get to read it with you.
35. Postcards from your ordinary life. Send a postcard of a place you go every week, with one sentence about why you go there.
36. Something that smells like you. A T-shirt you’ve worn or a letter with a spritz of your usual scent. It’s surprisingly comforting on a lonely night.

Dates for when time zones barely overlap

If your hours hardly line up, the small daily rituals for long-distance couples do most of the work between dates. These four turn the gap into part of the fun.

37. A breakfast-and-dinner date. One of you eats breakfast while the other has dinner, in the one hour that works. Swap who gets the awkward meal next time.
38. A relay movie night. Each watch the same film at a good time for you and send voice notes at the moments you want to react to. Then listen to each other’s reactions.
39. Opposite ends of the day. Send a photo from your morning while they’re winding down, and they send one from their night. Over a week you get a strange, lovely view of each other’s whole day.
40. A slow-motion game. Play chess or a word game one move at a time. Each turn waits for the other person to wake up.

Try it today: Pick a tiny theme, like “something blue,” and each send one photo that fits it before the day is over. In Pairloom you each share one photo a day, write a note on the back, and see your two cards side by side.

Sources

• Aron, A., et al. (2000), on shared novel activities: Greater Good in Action